Today was the first day in a long time that I came home to an empty flat. And it is my first night sleeping in this flat alone.
Greg and his best friend James has packed their bags and on their way to Florida for a ten days vacation. I am so envious of their trip, and I know they will have an amazing time. I am really happy for Greg that he gets this experience with his best friend, after he has been working so hard ever since he arrived in London in January he truly deserves it.
Although I must admit I am sad to be without him for that long, and last night I felt anxious thinking of being here alone. I am getting so used to having him here every night and seeing him every day that I think I am experiencing some separation anxiety.
Last night I got that same feeling I had when we were doing long distance and it was the night before one of us would fly back to our home country. Of course this is very different, back then we would face two or three months apart and now we are only having ten days apart but I still got that same anxious feeling in my stomach as I did back then.
The whole day at work today I just kept thinking of the empty flat I would come home to, knowing Greg and James is so far away. It nearly killed my motivation for the day just thinking about it and it felt so weird and empty coming through the door after work having no one to greet me and knowing no one is coming home later in the evening either.
Especially after having James here for two weeks, I am so used to having people around and having company in the evening. Going from having days being three people at home to being alone is such a strange feeling.
Since I came home I have just been moping around the flat not really knowing what to do with myself.
I am normally someone who enjoy spending time on my own and I enjoy my own company. I think this is one of the first times that I know I have some time to myself and I am not feeling really happy about that! It is so strange how we can change like that, to me it is a whole new feeling and very unlike myself. I am not sure if it is age or just missing Greg that makes me feel so lonely sitting here alone. It is odd to think about how dependent one can get on another person!
However I do think it is good to have some days apart, even though I am not liking it as it happens. I think it is good to be able to truly miss one another and feel lonely being apart.
Often when we get used to having someone around we get so comfortable that we forget to stop and think how lucky we are, and often can take those that matter the most for granted.
it is nice once in a while to realize the importance of the person we love and just how much we love them. Not to mention that I think this is so good for Greg to get to see what he wants to see and have some time with his friends from New Zealand that he hardly every get to see.
I know I am moping about being alone, but deep down I am so happy for them.
I realize I am getting a bit sentimental here thinking of Greg somewhere over the Atlantic, but it truly is reminding me of how much I love him and how much I love seeing him everyday.
Fortunately I wont be alone for very long, because my mum is coming on Wednesday to London and staying with me until Monday. It will be really nice to have some mother and daughter time together, see some of London and have some good old Norwegian food again. We haven’t seen each other since February so I am quite excited to see her! Not to mention it will make time go a lot faster until Greg comes back home!
Now it is time for this lonely soul to get to bed in order to survive a full on day tomorrow.
I hope you all are well and get a good night sleep.
Sweet dreams, Camilla