Terror in London

I never want to make my blog political and I try to stay away from writing about my opinions about current affairs. However living in London and writing my blog about my life in London, today it seems unnatural not to share my thoughts or at least mention the terror attack that happened at Westminster this afternoon.

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According to the BBC four people have been killed and at least 20 are wounded.

I had just come home today, when I turned on the TV and it said that there had been a terrorist attack by the Houses of Parliament. I first thought about Greg, because he works so  close to the site and my immediate thoughts was that he could have gone there for lunch. My worries for him were calmed fast though as I saw that it happened after he would have been due to be back at work after lunch long before this happened, so that he would have been at his office when this took place.

Looking at the TV today though filled me with sadness and made me start to wonder about life, the way that these things always make you do.

Wherever a terrorist attack happens it is a tragedy and horrible for the people involved, for those losing a loved one and for the people walking around feeling that fear of terror in their body and in their streets. All lives count the same and everyone treasures their lives and the loss of a life is the same for anyone, that is a given. Of course when an attack happens close to you however, and you feel that this could have happened to you, where you are or where you might have gone you think of it more. I feel that we all walk around thinking in the back of our minds that such a terrible incident could not happen to us or where we live regardless of if that is true or not. It is how we survive and go about our day. So of course when it does happen you get surprised and shocked.

I remember when the Terrorist Attacks happened in Paris on November 13th 2015. I worked in a bar at the time here in London and when I came home and saw the news I felt very touched by it personally. Much because it was in a big European capital like London and also because the shooters shot down many places similar to my own work. This gave the added feeling of identification with the victims because it felt as though they had  a very similar night to my own up until it happened and it gave me a feeling that it could have happened at my job during my night just like it could with them.
It is the same thought that makes me feel strong about the London attack today, the fact that you walk so many times on that exact spot it happened and the feeling that I could have just as easily been walking here today or someone I love could just as those unfortunate people today or this could have just as easily happened when I walked here not long ago.

I think that is some of the effects terror has on us, the feeling that we are not safe  where we are and that if it could happen to them, it could happen to us which is so unfortunate and a part of the desired effect.

Earlier I was thinking of how this morning I was stressed and worried about what is going on in my life and when things like this happens you realize how small and insignificant these things are. Those poor people who died today do not have worries to wake up to tomorrow and they had no idea this morning. Their loved ones would most likely have good and bad things on their minds with their morning coffee and now those things are all over shadowed by what happened today and the grief that comes with it.

I feel bad for people in our community that might experience more racism, bullying and exclusion after today as well. In my experience this is something that often happens, people lash out at innocent people who had nothing to do with the incident because of their own ignorance. I hope that that does not happen this time, and lets remember to be kind towards one another and please do not put responsibility where it doesn’t belong with innocent people who had nothing to do with this. We have to be nice and kind towards each other even after such a terrible and tragic event.

I feel so sad for the people that lost their lives today, for the brave policeman risking his life and dying for the safety of others and for everyone grieving. I will be praying for them all and that we will all just start being nice to one another and stop hurting each other.

– Camilla

Sick or Worried?

Good morning guys!

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I have had the worst night leading up to today. I was a little short of breath yesterday and just after I went to bed last night it got really bad and I felt really dizzy and very short of breath.
I couldn’t sleep and laying down I felt even worse, so I got up and just sat up in the sofa relaxing.

I thought it could be that I was slight dehydrated so I made sure to get a few bottles of water to drink from which helped a little.

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I have so many things going on at the moment and my head is in so many different places right now. I am not fond of change either and with the end of my degree at Uni coming to an end and a new routine about to start when the exams are done is stressing me out. I am not sure why, because I know there is a good chance that much better things are coming after Uni. I am actually excited to see what will happen after Uni and I feel excited by all the opportunities, both with the possibility of going into working and starting my career or doing a post grad. The opportunities are endless and I love it, but at the same time the thought of the unknown is making me feel stresses. Perhaps it is the possibility of failure or something bad happening, I don’t know.

I also know that so much of my future depends on me doing well at Uni for the next few months and also to seek out opportunities outside of Uni now, such as internships, or a job I could enjoy that would be towards what I want to work with in the future. Basically I feel the pressure to stay on top of things much more this semester.

I don’t know if me feeling unwell stems from a bug or just being under the weather, or if it is my subconscious freaking out a little. I am still feeling a little unwell and I think I will take the morning today to relax and recover, and hopefully feel better. I hope I will feel better during the day, so I can get back to work and hopefully relieve some of the pressure or at least not add to it by being taken out of action for some time.

In the early mornings today I started watching an old season of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and made myself a few cups of tea. It helped a little, I am still feeling a little out of breath and shaky but better than last night. If nothing else, zoning out to a show and enjoying a cup of hot beverage does take your mind of feeling ill.

I wish you all a great day, and hopefully I will be feeling better and have something more fun to report next time!

– Camilla