December!! Woohoo (or should I say ho ho ho), Christmas is officially upon us!
Well it is 5th of December so it has been upon us for a few days but surprise surprise I am a little behind. (Story of my life, ugh) But ahead for a new years resolution – be more on time, so there is a silver lining right?
I love this time of year, not just with it being Christmas but the whole thing. The cold, dressing up with big scarfs and lighting candles and staying warm inside, after a long day out in the cold. It is such a cosy time of year.
When I was younger I hated the winter and loved the summer. Now I am starting to become a real winter person and as soon as September starts I get in a really good mood, knowing it is heading towards winter. The temperature dropping day by day, having to dress warmer and warmer and watching the leaves on the trees change colour and start falling down until they all are without leaves – portraying a beautiful winter landscape.
Life at the moment feels divided into two. In some aspects life is great, better than ever. Things I have emotionally struggled with for a long time is starting to fade from my mind, my anxiety is much better, my previous depression i have had is so to speak gone and I am sleeping better than ever. I feel that I have got such a better life quality especially as I lately have not had any insomnia or trouble getting up. I have started to get tired at 10 at night and I wake up be myself some time between 6 and 8am. Just to have been able to go to bed at the same time as Greg and fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow makes such a difference. I don’t sit up being lonely watching TV until the late hours, and I don’t lie in bed wallowing over little issues. Not to mention I get much more daylight and a better feeling when I get up early.
I don’t think my relationship with Greg has ever been better, and I am so in love. I feel that we are such a team and I feel that I can more than ever bring up stuff that I need to talk about or resolve issues like a team with him. I feel more wanted in his life than I ever have and I cannot imagine my life without him. It is like we just work, and it makes me very happy. In one week exactly, I am flying to New Zealand and we will spend Christmas together with his family and I am incredibly excited!
In other aspects I feel that I am doing really poorly and that life is stressful and tiring. I have been trying really hard to get in a routine of healthy eating and excising, but I keep struggling with it. Especially with the eating. In addition to that I have not been able to fully control my diabetes, making me incredibly tired. It feels like a bad wheel going, and I am using a lot of energy trying to get it on track.
With uni I feel behind already, I am currently stressing to secure a supervisor for my dissertation, and time is ticking away because I am leaving next Tuesday so I need to have it sorted by then. I also have the worst concentration at the moment and combined with being tired from my diabetes it feels very challenging as I am reading and writing on my own for uni. I can defiantly feel that a master is much more challenging than when I did my bachelors. I feel that I struggle to meet deadlines and that what I am doing isn’t good enough. I feel behind with other projects as well, such as the blog and this vlog I am working on. As if I cant gather the focus to get it of the ground. I am taking steps to improve it though, and this week I have some doctors appointments lined up, an eating plan and I am meeting with the tutor at work to sort my stuff out (hopefully).
I guess that I life, as some things go well others will not. I am in general really grateful though, because overall I am really happy and I feel much calmer and centred than I did before.
I hope everyone is having a great December and wishing you all the very best!