Lonely Flat, Lonely heart

Today was the first day in a long time that I came home to an empty flat. And it is my first night sleeping in this flat alone.

Greg and his best friend James has packed their bags and on their way to Florida for a ten days vacation. I am so envious of their trip, and I know they will have an amazing time. I am really happy for Greg that he gets this experience with his best friend, after he has been working so hard ever since he arrived in London in January he truly deserves it.

Although I must admit I am sad to be without him for that long, and last night I felt anxious thinking of being here alone. I am getting so used to having him here every night and seeing him every day that I think I am experiencing some separation anxiety.
Last night I got that same feeling I had when we were doing long distance and it was the night before one of us would fly back to our home country. Of course this is very different, back then we would face two or three months apart and now we are only having ten days apart but I still got that same anxious feeling in my stomach as I did back then.

The whole day at work today I just kept thinking of the empty flat I would come home to, knowing Greg and James is so far away. It nearly killed my motivation for the day just thinking about it and it felt so weird and empty coming through the door after work having no one to greet me and knowing no one is coming home later in the evening either.
Especially after having James here for two weeks, I am so used to having people around and having company in the evening. Going from having days being three people at home to being alone is such a strange feeling.
Since I came home I have just been moping around the flat not really knowing what to do with myself.
I am normally someone who enjoy spending time on my own and I enjoy my own company. I think this is one of the first times that I know I have some time to myself and I am not feeling really happy about that! It is so strange how we can change like that, to me it is a whole new feeling and very unlike myself. I am not sure if it is age or just missing Greg that makes me feel so lonely sitting here alone. It is odd to think about how dependent one can get on another person!  DSCF1183

However I do think it is good to have some days apart, even though I am not liking it as it happens. I think it is good to be able to truly miss one another and feel lonely being apart.
Often when we get used to having someone around we get so comfortable that we forget to stop and think how lucky we are, and often can take those that matter the most for granted.
it is nice once in a while to realize the importance of the person we love and just how much we love them. Not to mention that I think this is so good for Greg to get to see what he wants to see and have some time with his friends from New Zealand that he hardly every get to see.
I know I am moping about being alone, but deep down I am so happy for them.

I realize I am getting a bit sentimental here thinking of Greg somewhere over the Atlantic, but it truly is reminding me of how much I love him and how much I love seeing him everyday.

Fortunately I wont be alone for very long, because my mum is coming on Wednesday to London and staying with me until Monday. It will be really nice to have some mother and daughter time together, see some of London and have some good old Norwegian food again. We haven’t seen each other since February so I am quite excited to see her! Not to mention it will make time go a lot faster until Greg comes back home!

Now it is time for this lonely soul to get to bed in order to survive a full on day tomorrow.

I hope you all are well and get a good night sleep.

Sweet dreams, Camilla

 

 

 

House Hunting in London

Good morning beautiful people!

I hope everyone has had a great start to the week, I cant believe we are half way through already! I can barely remember how some of my days have been, I still feel like it is Monday because the last few days I have been so busy and the days have just flown by.

Greg and I have now officially started our house hunting! We had our first viewing yesterday and we have a few lined up for the next couple of days. I find it quite stressfull to go on them I must admit, I could especially tell yesterday. I think it is the anticipation and the not knowing that I am not just that great of dealing with.

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Yesterday we viewed such a nice place in Lewisham in South London. I had promised myself I would not get my hopes up, but when we saw the place and how great it was I got such an anxious feeling in my stomach because I wanted it so much but I also knew that they had many viewings and that we would get so lucky to find the perfect fit and get it on our first try was just to good to be true! Plus knowing all that needs to go well with the contract signing and reference checks etc, is really so nerve wrecking!
I just have to except that a lot of this month will have to be that way and try to keep my head cool.

We are still waiting to see what happens with the flat we saw yesterday, but I am preparing myself for a disappointment as I know it is in high demand and we will probably be looking for a while before getting a place. Having said that though, I am not the best person to manage my expectations and often I can get ahead of myself. Last night after promising Greg that I would not get my hopes up I planned where in the flat we saw I would place the furniture if we got it and started looking up both banks and doctors surgeries in the area – properly planning my life there already well knowing that there is a good chance we would not get it. Oh well..

After the viewing yesterday we went and got a Burger King Meal on our way home and then some ice cream. I told Greg I needed it to calm down, not sure if it worked but.. There is a chance I could get very fat by the end of this month if it continues but oh well oh well..

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Anyone else in the same situation? How do you cope with it and keep your self calm?
I could not sleep at all last night, just lying in bed hoping and stressing out about this place we saw and just wishing I could forward time to when we are moved in someplace! Hopefully it will be somewhere great, that we feel is a place we can make our own, build happy memories and feel properly at home in.

– Camilla

 

 

A New Year, a new beginning

Happy new year from London! And welcome to my blog! Although today is the second of January and not the first, I am saying happy new year today as my 2016 starts today! Firstly because after a great New Year’s Eve party with work, yesterday I was not exactly feeling ready to embrace the new year. But mostly because tonight I pick up my boyfriend Greg from Heathrow airport and we are starting our new life together. Greg is from New Zealand, and after being together for one year doing long distance and visiting each other, we are finally going to be living together and having a life together.

I will be blogging about our journey together from here, finding a home and getting settled.

As it is the start of a new year, I have of course made a list of New Year’s resolutions and this year I will work my best to follow them, and keep you in the loop as I do!new year resolution

Some might be more within reach than others, but it is a new year and a new fresh start and anything can happen!

I hope you will enjoy following my journey as I stive to become a better version of my self!

What are your resolutions?

– Camilla