Improving in 2017

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New Year, New opportunities!
We are starting the new year a bit late here in Arendal.  I mean that in the sense that we still have not put the Christmas decorations away, I am still in Norway on Christmas holiday and we are still eating Christmas sweets. I  am still very much in a holiday mode.

Tomorrow we are clearing the house of Christmas in every way and embracing the New Year. 6 days late but oh well.

I return to London on the 11th of January and Greg and I have agreed that we then will talk and write down our goals and ambitions for 2017. We have places we want to see and things we want to do and we want to work together to make them happen.

Meanwhile while I am here in Norway I have over the holidays figured out what I personally want to change and things I want to accomplish.

I want to develop as a human being and have some personal growth.

Taking Better Care of People Around Me:
During the church service on Christmas Eve, the priest talked about treating every person we meet as we would treat our selves and how we would treat God or someone we look up to. He talked about how whilst we treat other people well and do what we can to help other human beings we are also treating ourselves well.
During Christmas this we something that I experienced and the more I thought about it agreed more and more with.
When we came here my goal was two things. That Greg would have a good time this Christmas even though he if far from home and his traditions and the second was that my mum who has not seen us for a long time would have a wonderful Christmas with us as we will be in New Zealand next year. I had decided that I would do everything to make that happen.
Seeing how happy they both were and making sure that they had a wonderful Christmas was really the entire reason why this Christmas was the best I have ever had.

This made me think how happy it makes me to see the people around me well, and made me think of how small acts of kindness can make someones day that much better. I have my self experienced this year and felt how just one or two people around me caring for me and taking a little time aside to make sure that I am ok and taking an interest in how I am doing can lighten even the hardest of my days.

I think that it shows how powerful one person can be, how powerful we all can be in making someones time better and I want this year to go more out of my way to take time to bring joy into the lives of people around me.
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Take Better Care of Myself:
One thing I have realized during the past year is that it is hard to be there for others when you are not doing great yourself. In order to be a good friend, girlfriend, student or employee you have to take care of yourself.
In the past year have struggled with my health, both with my diabetes and with my general health.
To be there, follow through with plans and making sure you are a good presence in others life it hard to do when you are feeling drained and unwell.
There are things outside our control that can make us feel that way of course, but for me personally I want to do everything I can to make sure I am feeling well.

So often during the year I would skip on having a good diet, I would go back and forth on keeping fit and the times when I was heavy into a fitness routine I would have the wrong focus, and taking a more extreme diet and exercise something that would give me less energy and that would health-wise not befit my body or mind.

This year I want to focus on being healthy. Not because I want to be thin, or strong physically, but for my body to be well and focus on working as best as it can. I want to forget about weight, but making sure I get all the nutrients I need and remove or at least cut heavy down on stuff that is not good for me.
I want to wake up feeling well and treat my body in a way where I am not worried about future illnesses or go through the day feeling drained.

I do want to get in a better routine with my exercise, but not to give in to the fitness pressure on social media, but because I know it will give me energy and it something that my body needs.

I want to treat my mind likewise and continue to get back into a positive mindset and try not to stress or over think stuff.

I feel so lucky to be healthy, the only issue I have right now is my diabetes. But when that is poorly controlled and I am not doing my part to make it better, then I am treating my body the wrong way and not appreciating the fact that I am as lucky as I am.

Not to mention when your body and mind is feeling unwell, it is that much easier to get stressed, sad and that much harder to focus, concentrate and being there for those I love.
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Be More Social and Staying Better in Touch with People:
I can be very bad at staying in touch with people. I am one of those people that need time to answer to a message and it is such a bad habitt! This year I will start doing things straight away instead of waiting a full day.
I also want to start reaching out to people. I am someone who often can underestimate the importance of a quick chat or a message to hear how someones day has been.

Too often I feel that I would be just annoying reaching out, and I often do not suggest meeting up with people, not because I do not want to see them but because I convince myself that they would not want to meet up with me.
Like I said above, I have realized how significant a message or a small conversation can be on a bad day. I want to start being that force, and getting in touch. Show people that I care, instead of just sitting thinking about it.

I have also this year been become so fond of being at home and spending the evenings inside snuggling up to Greg.
Although that is all nice and well, I have been far less social this past year.

In the new year I think that it is important that I get more out there, and not spend all my evenings just at home. To go to a cafe with friends, or a gathering or even to a bar or pub. In the last few years I have had less of an interest in going out drinking. It makes me feel unwell, even if it is only a drink or two and the amusement I found a few years ago is just not there anymore. That being said just because I dont drink doesn’t mean I cant go to a pub for a few hours with some friends. If I dont feel like drinking I can still spend time with fun people and have a dance or two.
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Blog and Vlog:
Last year I started this blog and the plan was to grow it and blog every day. That was something that I so absolutely failed at.
If you look back at my posts you can see that the blog posts do not have a continuity and often gets left behind.

I have plans on where to take the blog this year, and I want to “find my voice” this year, something that doesnt happen when you dont blog continuously.
It is like so many other things, in that ideas just stay an idea, when what is required is action. This is the year, with the blog and so many other aspects of my life where I plan to take action and put ideas into reality.

I also plan to start vloging. I have since the middle of the year started to watch more and more You Tube channels and  as I have done so the idea of having my own channel has aspired.
I start filming already tomorrow and within the following week I will put out my first video!

I have so many plans this year both here on the blog and on You Tube that I think you will really like and I hope you will stay tuned and join this journey with me.
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Most importantly, I just want to go out experience life and be happy. For the people around me to be happy and to enjoy every day, and this is small steps towards that.
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I am so excited for the following year! We have so many fun plans and stuff coming up and I am excited to share it with you.

This is also the year I am finishing my bachelor degree and it will be a new journey fro there wither with work or with continuing studying for a master.

I am excited to see where it all leads and where we stand at the end of this year!
And of course I hope you will be here with us to see it!

– Camilla

 

 

A Holiday for Realization, Reflection and Inspiration

Now that our holiday in Crete is over, I have safely landed back home and a new routine has started. I have already been home for a few days, settled from my trip and even had my first days at Uni this new semester.

Our holiday has been great! A lot did not go as planned, but it was a holiday that I am so grateful for and that I needed.

The plan was to go on many trips, exercise, spend every day in the sun and soak up the Greek culture.
That is not really what happened. I spent a lot of the trip with what must have been the flu and only had a few hours a day on the beach, some I did not even make it to the beach. Often it was cold, and I did not make it to any excursions.
I had this whole plan to turn my blog into a well being/tour guide of Crete – well, obviously that did not happen.

But although it did not go according to plan, I am so happy I went, and I had such a great time! The holiday did not turn into an adventure of the island, or a cleansing trip for my body but it turned into a trip where I got a change to truly reflect on my life and How I live. A soul cleansing instead of a body cleansing!
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Not being able to go out every day and often getting tired quickly at night, I spent a lot of nights sitting drinking tea on the veranda alone with my thoughts. Sitting outside, listening to the sound of the ocean is so cliche, but it is true that it does wonders for your mind. Sitting in those beautiful surroundings and still missing home and being excited to come home is a true blessing. One that I often take for granted.
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I started thinking a lot of how I live my life, how I think, how my attitude is and how lucky I am with so many things in my life.

The truth is that my thinking can very often be negative, and especially lately I have been easily stressed, agitated and just had a bad energy.
It happens in life, we get so busy and caught up in all our responsibilities to reflect on how we think. If it then is something stressful or difficult we deal with often we can get in a bit of a funk.

I started watching these youtubers videos about positive thinking, and it hit me how right they are, and how much I have to learn from this.
The last few years I have been negative. I have let little things ruin my day, and put me down. I often expect the worst. I have felt tired and become to comfortable sitting inside.

I started thinking about why I do this, because it is really so silly!
I realized that I am simply afraid of being disappointed, therefor I have never got my hopes up about things I really want, and just believed that I wont get them. But by doing that, I have also not tried to go for what I really want. Winther it be a job, a friendship or just small things.

The same goes for how I talk about myself or the things I do. For instance if I am doing something well and someone tries to compliment me for it or show an interest, I always drag out the negatives. Not to complain, but to make sure I wont disappoint. I am so scared of that I might fail, so I dont tell people the goods. I always think that this could get away from me so quickly so I better not give anyone the impression that it is going super well, how will I then look if I fail?
And by doing so, I talk so much negative about my self that I am putting that negative energy out there and then of course start to doubt my self. Not to mention that I start focusing about these negative things.

Most importantly, I started thinking about those around me, those who my negativity impacts. For instance Greg, who always try to build me up, always is positive and tries to get me to do so many fun things with him. I feel bad that although I am not negative about him, having a girlfriend who had been looking at the negatives, questioning herself and often does not want to do much at all, it must be so hard!
Because although I want to do so many things in theory, when it comes down to it I often have had an excuse. Especially the last few months. Such as I am tried, I need time, I dont look good. And always the same thinking – tomorrow I will feel better, look better -have more time.

The things is that I want the best for those in my life, and I want to give them joy. Too often I feel that I want to please everyone, but I end up disappointing everyone.
I want Greg to be happy, and have a fun girlfriend. I want to be a good friend, a good aunt and a good daughter.

I always put happiness in the future and believe if I just reach this goal or that goal, then I can start to relax and be truly happy. I just need to loose some weight, I just need to get a hair cut, I just need to settle in at work, I just need my skin better. Always something.

I want better relationships, but often I shy away from social encounters. Especially with those I really like being with. It is like I have a fear that if they spend too much time with me, they might be disappointed. And it is so silly! Those who are meant to be in your life will want to hang out with you, but I have not given many people the chance, because I worry to much about myself.
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The most silly thing of all is that I am actually a very positive person. Just lately I have forgot.

But now I feel that I have had some time away, and made some hard realizations about my self. Dont get me wrong, it is not like I think I am a bad person, it is just this energy I have had lately, the energy I did not even think about.

But now that I have, I am all ready to start positive thinking! In fact, I have already started.

I have quit thinking that everything will be great tomorrow, just not today. Why not today? Happiness and positivism is not tomorrow, it is now – in this moment!

  • I wont think that I will not tell people or think about what I am so happy about right now. It might go away tomorrow, but I trust that it wont and if it does go away my being negative wont stop that. Why would I take away the joy of it today just because of the fear of tomorrow?
  • I am starting to say yes to things, as long as I dont have a gut feeling it is wrong for me. But try new things, enjoy what I am doing.
  • I am realizing that whatever is going to happen to me, nothing will happen that I cant handle. And whatever happens will happen for a reason, what matters is how I deal with it.
  • I am focusing on the good, not the bad. I dont put myself down, I focus on my good sides and I believe in myself.
  • I think everyday of what I am happy about

I must say, ever since I came home and has been conscious of my own thinking, I have been feeling really happy. It is the perfect time for it too, a new year is starting at Uni, I have missed home enough to truly appreciate it, and I am more ready than ever to tackle this third year of uni.

I truly believe that we often get what we need, not what we planned for and I am so happy that the holiday did not go according to plan. This was just what I needed!
I feel so inspired and excited!
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I am so excited to share with you how this will go, and to be open to new things and see things in a new and brighter light.
I am excited, because I feel that I have my old self back and now that I realized I had lost myself a little, getting back to my old self is so much easier.

Now I will go to get some sleep, tomorrow is a new day, that for me will be spent studying so I need my sleep!

Goodnight to you all, sweet dreams,
– Camilla

New Week, Time to Take Action

New week new beginning!

For the past few weeks I have been too slack and unmotivated and not really getting stuff done. I have slept in late when every I can, I am quite sure that I have been eating chocolate for the past 14 days straight and I have forgotten what a gym is.

I can defiantly tell that it is affecting me. My skin is suffering and I feel like I have less energy and worse mood.

But that ends this week!

I really have to get out of this routine of that now, and bring productive and healthy routines back.

Since today is a new week, I have made up my mind to start today, set goals for the week and follow them!

My goals this week is the following:

1) No sweets on weekdays

2) Eat propper meals with nutrients

3) Drink enough water

4) Get a good sleep routine, go to bed reasonably early and get up early

5) Be as productive as I can everyday

6) Work out 4-5 times

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Most of today has been spent at uni and I stayed reasonably healthy so so far so good!

I am excited to update you, and hopefully to have a great week!

I hope you also get a great week and that you have had a good start to the week today.

– Camilla